Eating for Two?

Is it possible to gain weight with a paper pregnancy? Because I seem to be eating for two this last week! In fact, I just baked a double-batch of brownies tonight for "the kids". But, truthfully, I ate enough brownie dough to blow that cover before they even came out of the oven:) Somewhere among dreadfully excited to finally have a name and face for which to pray, terribly anxious about finances, and striving to trust God with everything, I have given in to many cravings! So, off to Curves I go tomorrow morning. I have to get in my 3 workouts this week and knock off some chocolate or I'm going to have some serious baby-fat to lose by the time Baby Z comes home!

What's In a Name?

We have had the name Caleb since my 2nd pregnancy. After my 3rd pregnancy, and 2 girls later, we decided that must be the name we were going to use for baby #4. So, for the last 18-months in which we have been "paper-pregnant" we keep calling the baby "Caleb".

Until 2 months ago that is, when I started telling Paul that I thought Zeke was a cute nickname. He wasn't sure that was a good nickname for Caleb (?) but I told him I liked the sound of it with Cole, Hope, and Lela. So, we didn't think too much more of it until the social worker called with our referral. She said, "I don't know how to pronounce his name, but let me spell it for you...Z...E..." Ok, at that point I stopped listening and started yelling, "Are you kidding?" I couldn't believe his name began with "ze"...close enough to Zeke for me!

So, we still don't know if we will keep Caleb or ditch it altogether; but for now, he is "Baby Z". That seems appropriate enough!

"The Call" Has Finally Come!

Today was the day! I can hardly believe it! I got the call from our social worker, Julia, this morning around 10:30 or 11:00 and she said "I have a baby boy for you!"....I couldn't believe it...I just started to cry and told her how timely it was and how perfect it was of God to choose this day (for many reasons of which I will not bore you). Finally, she asked if I wanted to know about the baby. Yes, of course, I just had to stop blabbering to pull myself together enough to listen! He is 2 1/2 months old and healthy. He is still very small, but currently in our agencies' transitional housing. I don't think I can share his name through this medium, but I hope to be able to post his name and pictures of him very soon. Let's pray for a quick court date!!! I'd love to be able to travel to get him before the end of the year so he'll be home for Christmas.

Honestly, I had a very emotional moment while we were learning of his family and how he came to be relinquished. I was surprised at how moved in grief I was for his loss. It just became profoundly real when I heard a story that was now attached to a face and a name. He's not just a statistic; he's my son. So, while I celebrate this day, I also remember to pray that God will be with him to comfort his grieving soul and bring peace to his family. I know that this divine door of destiny did not come without a price.

My Own Little Baby Shower

Well, this morning, my sister and I awoke very early in spite of the fact that we are both pretty tired from our church's annual conference that is currently going on and we went to a Mother of Twins' re-sale event (it is a group that my sister belongs to). We were one of the first in the door and I went crazy. I got the whole infant carseat/stroller system and lots of other things like bouncy chairs, bath seats, burpclothes, bibs, and baby monitor! My sister is currently in the process of adopting 2 children from Guatemala, so we had her van packed full! When we put all of our things in the van and started driving away, she said, "It feels like we just had a little baby shower for ourselves!" And, as I brought the things into the family room this morning, I was very overwhelmed by emotion. I couldn't believe that it is this close to being real...I'm going to be a mom to an infant again. I'm both terribly excited and very afraid (pretty much the same feelings I had when I was 8 months pregnant!) There's no going back now and I can't wait...Somehow a bit of a paradox to me, but I'm relishing every step of the way, regardless of my ability to philosophize about it:)

Meeting the Author

Well, I haven't posted in quite some time because there has been nothing new to say. We literally are in the waiting process. Once our dossier left our hands to go to Ethiopia, there has been nothing else for us to do except wait on the referral. The two families that were in line ahead of us for an infant have already traveled and come home, so it really will be coming any day now!

However, we did do something exciting this last week. On Thursday, Paul and I drove to Chicago to meet Melissa Fay Greene, author of There Is No Me Without You, the book at the top of every Ethiopian adoption reading list. She is currently on a book signing tour, as her book just came out in paperback, and she was at a Barnes and Noble in Evanston, Illinois. So, we found family to watch the kids and we headed up the road! She gave a great lecture, inserting readings from her book, and then she took some questions. It was very helpful to hear from someone who has adopted five children. She knows firsthand some of the trials and joys of this process, balanced with being informed as a journalist about the statistics of the current situation in Ethiopia. Afterward we had the opportunity to meet her personally and she was very approachable and gracious. We got home about 2:00 in the morning; but we had fun!

So, now I feel that I have officially entered the "nesting" stage of this paper pregnancy. I am painting the playroom, wallpapering my bathroom, making Paul take next weekend (after our church's fall conference) to finish the remodel on our back bathroom, and I am going to try to finish some of the miscellaneous things I've been wanting to do in the kids' bedrooms. For some reason, I am suddenly seeing every dusty fan and broken window blind and feeling the need to do some serious house cleaning, too! Next Saturday I am going with my sister to a mother of twins' resale day in hopes of finding some of the baby items I need (since I sold most of my things after Lela outgrew using them!)

So, again, here's to that referral coming soon, before I wear Paul out with his honey-do list!!!...

Dossier On its Way!

Well, last Thursday and Friday (before Memorial Day) I went into overtime collecting everything I needed for the dossier. I had things to print and copy, signatures to acquire and notary stamps to get. Throughout the weekend I was able to get everything together and I went to see Julia at CHI to have her look over everything. We found 3 things I should change. So, I went back to Gina (my personal notary, apparently!) Wednesday morning before we went to Springfield. Paul and I took the kids and we headed out for a day trip to our State's capital. When we arrived at the Capitol building we took the kids for a quick tour and found a tunnel to take from one building to the rotunda floor. Then we found the Index building where we went to get our dossier state certified. Except for a few minor details, which we quickly worked out, everything passed inspection and we left with our state-certified documents! Yeah!!!



After that, we called Jenni Grigsby-Rogal, a friend we met through CHI's Ethiopia adoption yahoo group. She and her husband, Jim, work on the Senate floor. They came out and said hi, introduced us to our Senator, and showed us around a bit. Jenni gave us a Congratulations card on accomplishing this step in our adoption process. It was very sweet!



We had a great day together as a family. It was exciting and somehow profound. I still can't imagine that all of this paperchase is going to produce a child forever becoming part of our family...How providential is our God?! It's amazing!



So, Thursday was my last workday to get everything done to be gone on vacation for a week. I didn't get to FedEx before it closed, so I brought my package with me in the car when we left early Friday morning for Florida. When we reached Paducah, we wasted almost an hour looking for a FedEx drop site. It was in vain! Finally, we got back on the road. Once we got off in Chatanooga, we searched again. It was 5:30 p.m. when we finally found a site. They had already picked up for the day...uggh! However, the man working there said he would walk my envelope across the street and put it in the drop box that was picked up at 6:30. So, it was officially out of my hands!

Now it is off to CHI where it will be bundled and sent to Washington, D.C. to be authenticated at the Secretary of State and Ethiopian Embassy. After that it is off to Ethiopia! I guess we are getting to the point in our journey in which a referral picture is right around the corner - I can't wait!

Is it Real?

This whole journey so far seems very surreal. I can't quite wrap my mind around traveling to Africa and holding my son in my arms. I've been on several missions trips, traveled to six other countries in my lifetime, and yet have never gone with my husband. (Much less expected to come back with a person!) How can I even begin to understand God's sovereignty on this issue?! Even though I am very excited, it just seems strange to think and dream about it. We are at the point, though, that it could happen sooner than I realize. I guess it's time to start getting excited!

The last few weeks there has been nothing new to tell. I have been extremely busy with church and school things. The only end in sight to all of that is May 11 (when school ends). The morning of the 13th I am going full swing into getting my dossier prepared and hopefully can get everything authenticated at the state level and off to my agency before we leave on vacation at the end of the month. I don't think it will be all that difficult now that I've already prepared my homestudy. I have a sense of what I have to do, anyway. So, here's to fast document collecting...