Mager Family Adoption Story

6-Month Post Placement

2008-08-21T22:33:00.002-05:00

Today is our 6-Month Post Placement. At least, I think it is. It is 6 months from our embassy appointment. However, it's been more than 6 months since our court date, when Ash officially became our son. And ealier this week would have been 6 months since our Forever Day. And in a few days will be 6 months from the time we brought him home. I'm not sure which day to celebrate! Either way, the fact that he joined our family is reason enough to celebrate! :o)

It is unbelievable that 1/2 a year has gone by already. He has grown so much and is changing every day. I'm so sad to see him leave behind some of his baby traits. (We will be celebrating his 1st birthday in less than a month!) However, it is fun to watch his little personality develop and hear his big boy laugh. I'm sure he will continue to bring us as much, if not more, joy in the future days as he has over the last 6 months!

CHI Reunion Picnic

2008-07-20T00:35:00.005-05:00

Last Saturday, July 12, we attended our adoption agencies' annual reunion picnic. There were so many families there from all of the different country programs; it was very uplifting to see. We had a particularly wonderful time meeting up with some of our blog buddies from the Ethiopia program. There were even three little ones there that we had the privilege of meeting while we were in Ethiopia, before they had been united with their forever families. That was emotional for me! To see them loving on their family members and playing with other kids...it was amazing! I felt such a connection to these little ones, who I have held in my heart since the time I first met them, that I was overcome with emotion at seeing them again. God is good! It was really a wonderful day. Here's a few fun pics from the day...

Dedication

2008-07-14T04:00:00.002-05:00

Last Sunday, July 6, we had Ash's dedication at church. My father, our church's founding pastor, dedicated him to the Lord. We also played the Steven Curtis Chapman song "When Love Takes You In" and quite a few of our family members were present to witness the event.

After church, all the family and some of our friends came by the house for a BBQ. The kids ran around the yard playing and we had lots of strawberry shortcake and rootbeer floats! Unfortunately, Ash fell asleep when we first got home from church and missed a good 2 hours of his own party. But, that's OK. He was smiling and ready to go when he awoke.

Active Baby

2008-07-01T14:34:00.010-05:00

We now have a 9-month old infant in our home! Ash is army-crawling everywhere and just figured out how to pull up to standing. I discovered this in the middle of the night 2 days ago while he was crying in protest of sleep. I opened the door and there he was, hanging on with all the determination he could muster! He is suddenly very active and ready to go! He giggles easily and smiles at everyone. What a joy he is to have in our arms!

So, I figured it was finally time to start updating this blog a little more. I have some photos of us in Orlando, Florida during our 2-week vacation at my parents' condo. Ash had a blast. He was old enough to enjoy all the activity and young enough to still sit in his stroller and take naps on the go. It was a great age to do everything we did. He really is happy when he's in the middle of all the commotion! That makes a great fit for a very active family of 4 kids : ) So here 'ya go, a few photos of Ash.....

Mother's Day

2008-05-11T20:58:00.002-05:00

It's been quite a while since I've posted. I can't believe how crazy things are with 4 little ones! However, today was my first Mother's Day with Ashenafi in my arms, so it truly was a day for rejoicing! I am so honored that God chose our family for this sweet, sweet little boy. He is more than I could have hoped for...such a wonderful addition to our brimming household! He will be 8 months old this Wednesday and is beginning to eat baby food, cheerios, and biter biscuits. He is coming along well with sitting up unassisted and loves to roll around until he moves quite a ways from his initial starting point. In fact, I've found the hard way that I can't leave him on my bed anymore...ouch! But, he survived the fall, and I've learned that he now scoots backward to get to what he wants : )

Sorry for the lack of postings and pictures. Since I've been home from Ethiopia (10 weeks ago now!) I have been dealing with mono. I did not initially know what was wrong; I was just extremely tired, to which I attributed having an infant that didn't sleep and jet lag from our trip. Then, I got really sick. I thought it was just a simple infection, but the antibiotics didn't help. But, I started feeling better and was just still really tired. Again, I figured it was just dealing with the new addtion and the 20-pound infant I was holding all the time. Then I got really sick again and realized I had been running a low-grade fever for several weeks. I decided it was time to go to the doctor. They, of course, wanted to test me for several things, especially since I'd been in Africa recently. But, they did not do a test for mono. When everything came back negative, I was already feeling better and decided to forego more tests. It was then that I noticed my 8-year old son's glands were huge and he was not presenting with any symptoms, so I took him to the doctor. They immediately did a swab for mono and it came back positive. So, I am sure that is what I was dealing with. But, all is well and I am so much better now. I might actually start uploading photos... : )

Home for a Month

2008-03-27T18:28:00.003-05:00

We've been home for a month now. I can't believe it! This last month went by much faster than the month before we traveled, that's for certain! Ash is growing, eating all the time, and starting to hit some new milestones. Since we've brought him home he's learned to roll to his belly and he's trying to sit up more and more. I started him on rice cereal to see if he would last longer at night without a bottle. It seemed to work the first night, but not so much last night! He's not the best nighttime sleeper! So, I'm still adjusting to sleep deprivation and having an infant in my home again.

The good thing about having an infant in our home again is all the kisses and cuddle time! He is so affectionate and snuggly - I can't get enough!!! His smile is infectious; and, for the most part, when he's awake he is blissfully happy. God has given him such a sweet temperament...what a blessing he is to me and our home!

First Day in Ethiopia

2008-03-08T21:13:00.002-06:00

I won't bore you all with a day-by-day schedule of our trip, but I did think that I could share some excerpts of my journal from our first night and the next day:

Finally, we arrived! Somewhere between all the hours of flight time and losing 9 hours by traveling east, we lost a day! But, we were both feeling pretty good. The monitor onboard the plane said the local time was 7:47 p.m. (which is when we were scheduled to arrive) and the temperature was around 63 degrees.

Once we got off the plane, we stood in line for our visa and that took about 30 minutes. Then we went through customs and found our luggage at baggage claim. We waited in line about 10 more minutes to get through security to leave and then we found our driver, Efrem, who was waiting for us with a CHI sign. The airport was not very busy and it did not take long to find the car. Of course, about 7 young men followed us to try to help us with our luggage. Efrem was very stern with them and said only 1 could help. He put our luggage in the car and we had to borrow money from Ephrim to tip him 10 birr, because we had not exchanged any dollars yet.

I have to pause at this point to say that Paul and I both somehow came on this trip without watches. This was somewhat frustrating on the plane, because we didn’t have our cell phones to tell us what time it was and there was just no frame of reference to even guess. How, after all the lists and double-checking I had done, did we forget a watch?

So, we get in the car with Ephrim and his dashboard clock said 3:23. I assumed it was broken and asked him what time it was, he showed me his cell phone and it was 3:37. What? I didn’t understand. Three in the morning? It surely did not take that long to get through the airport! He insisted that was the local time and showed me his cell phone again. OK! Whatever…I was so disoriented now, it didn’t really seem to matter – what day was it, anyway?!

Once we arrived at the House of Hope (our agency’s transition home where the children were and where we would be staying), the baby was already asleep. Ephrim showed us to our room and I noticed the light was on in the nursery so Paul and I snuck in and asked the nanny if we could just peek in his crib. She smiled and showed us Ashenafi. I stood there looking at this precious baby boy who looked so peaceful, sound asleep with his little pudgy arms outstretched, palms up on each side of his head. He was beautiful! I cried! Paul teared up. I put my hand over my mouth to keep from sobbing, thanked the nurse and quietly backed out of the nursery.

We went back to our room and unloaded our luggage. Ephrim took Paul to get some food and bottled water as I unpacked and got our things a bit more organized. As I was settling in, I sat on the bed, overcome with emotion and began to sob. All these months and months of planning and then hours of traveling, finally I was in Addis and had just seen my son! He was more beautiful than any of the photos I had been sent. He was fat and round and his skin was smooth and soft. I couldn’t wait to get my hands on him first thing tomorrow morning.

What really made me emotional, though, was seeing the babies all in their cribs. I couldn’t help but think, “Your mamas don’t know where you are!” I know they were being well cared for and all healthy, but how did their moms know? How did a mother sleep at night not knowing where her perfectly round, sweet baby boy was eating and sleeping? I was torn inside imagining what these babies’ mothers must have lost in order to make such a great sacrifice so that their children could have a better life. It completely overwhelmed me and I was glad I had the chance to be alone to process.

When Paul came back, we sat on the floor and ate strange cheeseburgers from a place called Burger Queen. They tasted pretty good, but we wiped off the lettuce and tomato, just to be sure. The sack of French fries was huge. I think it must have been 3 potatoes worth of fries in each order! We couldn’t eat them all, but it sure tasted good.

We began to laugh as we realized that we were sitting on a floor eating weird drive-thru food at God-knows-what-time on who-knows-what day in the middle of Ethiopia, Africa. Our son, who we hadn’t met was in the room down the hall and we were supposed to go to sleep??? We just couldn’t get over how surreal everything felt!

We finally charged one of our cell phones and turned it on to see if we could get a local time. It was 12:30 a.m., so we set the alarm for 6:00 and tried to get some sleep. I’m not sure how many times I awoke. When I did, I prayed for my kids at home and would drift back to sleep. However, at 5:45 my eyes opened wide and I felt like it was Christmas morning. I decided to go ahead and get ready so I could get down to the nursery as soon as it was appropriate to do so. We waited until 7:00 and then headed down.

Ashenafi was in his crib, awake and playing with a toy. The nanny picked him up, kissed on him and then with tears in her eyes she handed him to us as she said “Ciao, Ashu…Mommy!” She repeated “Mommy” several times as she gave him to me. She looked so sad to see him go. It broke my heart, but I was encouraged that he had obviously been loved and well cared for. We took some photos and both took turns holding him. He looked directly into my eyes and I fell in love! I smootched on his cheek and he got very still and opened his mouth for more kisses. He let me kiss all over his little fat neck and chubby cheeks. I couldn’t believe it! How could I so immediately fall in love?!

When we took him to our room, Paul laid him on the bed and we both played with him for a while. He giggled and smiled and batted his hands at our faces. When he grabbed hold of my finger with a firm grip, I saw him look into my eyes and I felt such a surge of motherly instincts that I melted!

Side note here…When I met the director of the program, Tsegay, I asked him about the time. He laughed and said that in Ethiopia they tell time differently. Well, of course they do!! He explained that their day begins at sunrise (6:00 a.m.), so 1:00 in the morning is our 7:00 a.m. They still go on a 12-hour schedule and then their night begins at sundown (6:00 p.m.), so 1:00 in the evening is our 7:00 p.m. Great! Just wanted to clarify that!

Finally...

2008-03-05T21:57:00.000-06:00

So, this slideshow isn't quite what I had in mind. I'll have to get back to it when I'm a little less sleep deprived, but at least you can see us with him and get a few pics of the view outside of the House of Hope. I have a ton more, just have to start with these. I have a whole journal of info, too; but I'll get to that later, as well. Here's Ashenafi...

2008-03-05T21:51:00.001-06:00

Make a slideshow - it's easy!

Photos

2008-02-22T08:04:00.001-06:00

Here we are with our beautiful Ashenafi! Sorry it's a little off-center. Someone took it for us. But, this is when we first met him on Wednesday morning. I began crying shortly thereafter! : )

The appointment at the embassy went without a hitch and we received his passport and entry visa today. Things are going very well!

Ethiopia Update

2008-02-20T07:01:00.001-06:00

Hi!

We arrived Tuesday night and got to meet Ashenafi this morning (Wednesday). He is more adorable than his pictures showed and I am totally eating up just lovin' on him. He has a big, round belly; beautiful brown eyes; and a little tongue that can't seem to stay in his mouth when he smiles...not to mention that adorable dimple in his right cheek...we are totally in love!!!

The House of Hope is great and the staff is amazing. They all have so much love to share and do so without reservation. It is a wonderfully peaceful environment. We are very thankful this is where our son has been placed for the last 3 months. God is good!

Hopefully, I can attach some photos on Friday. Until then...

Heading Out Tomorrow

2008-02-17T19:31:00.002-06:00

Tomorrow is the day...It's finally here! Why I'm sitting here typing when I should be cleaning, packing, and paying bills, is beyond me! I just wish I could be done with all this stuff on my to-do list and be on the plane already!!!! I know I will be missing my 3 little ones who will still be home, but I can't wait to see Ashenafi's face and hold him in my arms. It's been a while since I've had a 5-month old in the house and I'm beginning to be very, very excited about that! (I guess it's been long enough, so I'm actually excited instead of panicking!)

I'll try to post while we are in country and hopefully send a photo or two. So, here's to tomorrow.....

3 Days and Counting

2008-02-15T08:56:00.002-06:00

Only 3 days until we leave!!! I have laundry everywhere and piles of donated items to try to fit into my suitcases. I guess it's finally time to start packing things and weighing that luggage!

I am more convinced now than ever that God's timing is perfect. I can't imagine if this had come any sooner...we would have had so many things left unfinished and the money would not have been there. God had every thing on His perfect timetable and we are so excited just watching the miracles happen this week. He is good!

I'm very excited...Even though I'm drop dead tired! (I actually fell asleep last night at midnight without the sheets on my bed because they weren't dry yet...Don't think I've done that once in 10 years of marriage!) But, it doesn't matter. None of that will concern me when I'm holding my baby boy for the 1st time....Yeah!!!!

Destiny Moments

2008-02-13T16:40:00.002-06:00

My mom writes a weekly inspirational article for our local newspaper. This week was about our new baby. So, from Dr. Patti Amsden:

Destiny moments happen in all our lives. You know – that period of time set apart from the rest, those hours isolated from the ordinary, those seconds detached from regular routine – those are destiny moments that happen in all our lives. And when they do, our course is forever altered.
Sometimes destiny unveils itself unexpectedly in a venue that was not even on our radar. Providence designs an opportunity and seeks us out, as if it were a surprise party delighting in keeping the secret until the perfect moment of revealing the planned event. Other times, we have selected our chosen path in life when there, posted like a detour sign in the road, fortune alters our course and takes us on an unexpected journey. However it appears, a destiny moment arrests our today, refocuses our tomorrow, and restructures our forever.
Our family has recently had a destiny moment. This one occurred along a chosen pathway. Our daughter and her husband began the process of adoption over a year ago. An agency was contacted; nations open to adoption were considered; time and cost were evaluated; and a decision was made. They would make application for a baby boy from Ethiopia. Paper work on top of paper work consumed the first few months. Finally, all was in order; and they entered the phase of awaiting a referral. They waited. They prayed. Then they waited some more. Destiny is funny like that – it seems it will never come until suddenly it jolts, almost as if to startle you.
After a year and a half on Christmas Day the email came, as if offering a gift so precious that it had to be given on the premier day of gift-giving. A boy had become available. His birth name was Ashenafi. He was perfect in every way and was immediately ready for adoption. As it was a holiday, the whole family was together; so we gathered to pray. Divine providence had unfolded. Heavenly intervention had earmarked the newest family member, and God’s eternal plan had connected him to us. “Yes!” we shouted with delight. “We want him!” we announced. “Welcome to our hearts and home!” we proclaimed without reservation.
My daughter, Deedra, and her husband, Paul, will travel this next week to the other side of the world to receive their son. A destiny moment will occur for Ashenafi, although it may be years before he realizes the course-altering, destiny-setting, eternity-impacting results of the moment when he is delivered to his parents and his new family. They will tell him of the journey of adoption. They will recount the way God orchestrated his arrival. They will speak of fortuitous circumstances from a heart of gratitude to a gracious God. He will come to understand the blessing inherent in a destiny moment.
The Bible says that God orders the pathway of His people. And along each one’s journey, regardless of the condition of the road traveled, there are God-given moments that can open our eyes to a greater plan than we had previously known. Special gifts await each of us. Our family has been given this new blessing. I pray that divine destiny moments may bring heaven’s plans your way!

Reflections

2008-02-08T20:14:00.001-06:00

Tonight I am feeling reflective of our journey to this point. I have not actually used this blog to journal many of my emotions regarding our story. I guess I was mostly just tracking dates and keeping in touch with my new friends in the blog-world! However, tonight, I just feel like I need to lay it all out there. So, here goes...

Everything began when my sister and brother-in-law gave us some land (2 acres adjacent to their farm) so that we could build a house. Around that same time, our hearts were stirred for international adoption. Through a series of circumstances and much research, we decided in the spring of 2006 , jointly, that we would all go together to bring home our new sons. We applied at CHI into their Vietnam program and hoped to actually travel together. My brother-in-law had the idea of selling the land to finance the bulk of both of our adoptions. We were totally on board, feeling like it was a huge gift, either way; and we believed that God was calling us to international adoption, so it seemed like an answer to prayer. I felt so strongly that God was going to have to finance this thing he was calling us to do, since we were already struggling to make ends meet due to lack of funds in my husband's ministry (soup kitchen/food pantry in St. Louis). So, with no savings and too much debt, we started down this road and downloaded the application from CHI. The day that I had to send off our $100 application fee, my husband ran into a local pastor friend at the gas station that morning, both on their way to work. Our friend handed him $100 bill and said that he just felt like God wanted to bless us with that. It was exactly what I needed that day and I had to worship, knowing that God was assuring me He would be there for whatever I needed each step of the way. So, after a bit, we sold the land (my brother and his wife actually ended up purchasing it!) and it was just in time for all the initial homestudy and government paperwork fees. So far, so good!

Then, my sister and her husband decided to accept a referral for a baby from Guatemala. We were overjoyed for them and fell in love immediately with our new nephew. However, that left us wondering what we should do next. We looked into Guatemala a bit, but didn't feel that was the right door for us to walk through. I became increasingly more uncomfortable with Vietnam, just not sure that I had heard the Lord on which country. We put our homestudy on hold. It was completely ready, just awaiting the country. Throughout November and December I felt nothing. I was really praying, too! Finally, as January 2007 rolled around, I decided I had to put a deadline on things. I told the Lord that by the end of the month I would put something down and just send it in, regardless. The 3rd weekend of that month is when I had a revelation as I was talking with my sister. She asked if I had noticed that CHI was beginning to open a new program for Ethiopia. I looked into it and immediately felt that this was right. The needs of the country, the beauty of the children, the cost, the timelines, the short length of stay in country (since I had 3 children at home, this was important to me), and the excitement of being one of the pioneer families for the program were all perfect! So, we switched programs, sent off our homestudy and within one month had our 171-H form (INS clearance) back the same weekend of my birthday and the same weekend that CHI received their licensing for Ethiopia!!!

I got to work on our dossier and made sure to submit that before we left on vacation in June. We were the 3rd or 4th family to submit a dossier. The 1st 2 families, requesting infant boys, and another family, requesting siblings, actually traveled before the courts closed in August. So, we were sure that we were next on the list and would be receiving our referral any time and traveling by October at the latest. Well, that didn't happen. Several other referrals came through, but all for older children or siblings or infant girls. I was excited for all these families. However, I kept waiting for the call.

Finally, it came in October. We received a referral for an infant boy and were thrilled. However, we immediately realized that we were going to struggle to get the necessary funds together for the country/referral fee. Several of our friends gave generously to us and one long-time friend of our family gave us a loan so that we could go ahead and process the referral to get on the list for a court date. God was good, once again! I was believing that He would come through on the funds we owed to them, as well as the money it would take to travel. However, we had one setback in the plan. When our court date came the Tuesday before Thanksgiving, we found out (the day after Thanksgiving) that the court had not ruled in our favor. For reasons I will not go into here, the court could not separate the baby from the birth family. We felt some loss with this news, obviously; but also felt that it was an answered prayer. We believe that the court had ruled righteously in their decision and tried to be at peace in that.

So, we were on hold again. CHI told us there was another infant, but could not give us any specific news yet until they finished the medicals and paperwork for him. We waited one month with no more information. Finally, on Christmas Day, the director of the program called us and gave us the news! She emailed all the medicals, photos and background info. on Ashenafi and we were overjoyed that she would take time out of her holiday to do that for us. God gave us a beautiful Christmas gift! The baby was perfect!

Now, we awaited a January 23 court date. This time everything went beautifully the first time through. Again, the hurdle of the finances came to weigh on us as we contemplated the cost of travel. As we were waiting for our official travel dates, we received a notice from Shoahannah's Hope (Steven Curtis Chapman's adoption-assistance organization). We were awarded a $3,000 grant!!!! (This is something we applied for in the early fall!) God is sooooooo good!!!!! Plus, my husband had a friend give us some money for our trip and a side job that he was working was going to pay exactly what we needed for the hotel/food cost with enough to take some cash with us!

Plus, the thing I'm most excited about...I have been working on a project close to my heart, related to adoption and Ethiopia, for the past several months. I can't reveal what it is quite yet because of confidentiality issues, but be sure that I will be shouting it from the rooftops as soon as it comes to fruition. It has been so exciting. I went to Chicago one weekend and Atlanta another weekend, meeting the people involved and getting things moving along on this production. There has not been one door shut as I've followed my heart in this matter. That is truly something for which I am thankful!

So, now, we are ready to go! Next week, I'll set my face to shopping and packing and making final plans for my 3 children who will still be at home. Then, I'm just going to totally enjoy this experience and immerse myself into the culture of Ethiopia and loving on my baby!

In My Dreams

2008-02-07T22:14:00.000-06:00

Last night was the first time I had a dream about the baby. It was so sweet. I was looking all over the church for him and every seat was filled. I finally found him in the back of the sanctuary being held by one of the ushers. When I picked him up I could just feel his little head bury in my neck and the warmth of his body in my arms! I woke up feeling so misty-eyed and ready to go pick up my baby!

I'm actually surprised that I haven't dreamt of him before, because I have a very active dream life and remember one or two a night. For some reason, though, I just hadn't let my heart attach emotionally, I guess. Now, I'm just emotional about it all. Somewhere between crying, panicking, and crying some more, I am totally ready to get on that plane...Now!

(Just so you know, though, my more pragmatic side is saying: "Oh, no, wait, not until the 18th... I really have to use next week to pack and get my house ready to leave!!!")

Seriously...

2008-02-05T21:50:00.000-06:00

I'm so emotional about all this. It just feels so official now! We got the call that our embassy appointment is definitely Feb. 21st, so we booked our airfare to leave the 18th (less than 2 weeks away!). Finally, last night, we put the baby bed and changing table up in my son's room. I pulled out some things I had tucked aside for the baby and went through it (realizing that I am totally unprepared!).

For some reason, it is all just now hitting me...we are going to ETHIOPIA and bringing home a BABY!!!! Hello?!?! Did I not realize that before now? I guess, I just kept feeling like this paper pregancy would never end and there was no reason to get my hopes up for anything to actually happen quickly. However, I am thinking it's time to engage and seriously get something ready for this new addition to our family! Seriously, we are leaving the country in 12 days - I have got to go make a list or something. I just wanted to laugh when I read someone's blog the other day, saying that they were leaving in 2 weeks and their bags weighed 40 and 45 lbs...should I being weighing bags already?! I don't have anything in the bags...that's the problem!!!!

I have too many other things to do this week to start all that, anyway. Plus, my husband's to-do list around this house is insanely long. I think I see a few all-nighters coming up... Thank goodness Wal-Mart is open 24 hours!

It's time to get packing

2008-02-01T09:35:00.000-06:00

Our household has been hit pretty hard this week. My husband said this is the worst he's ever seen me...it's been miserable! And I was so excited last week to start packing and buying baby clothes, and all that fun stuff; but I've felt so miserable I've barely been able to take care of my poor babies who are sick, too!

So, the antibiotic is beginning to kick in (still not 100%, but definitely better). It's a gorgeous snow day of 8 inches, so all my kids are home. I think it's time to get planning! I'm off to check out what I have stashed away in the closet and then compare that to my packing list. Then, I'll make a very long shopping list, I'm sure! It's going to be fun. I'll probably run out of energy long before any of this is done today, but at least I feel like thinking about it again!

It's Official...We have a baby boy!!!!!

2008-01-23T13:21:00.000-06:00

Our court date went through successfully today and we now have a baby boy!!! Ashenafi is now a Mager! Here are some photos introducing our precious son...

Our tentative travel dates are Feb. 18-25. That's less than a month away...Oh my goodness! I can't wait! What an exciting day!

Tomorrow...Tomorrow..

2008-01-22T16:35:00.000-06:00

Tomorrow's the day! Hopefully, we will even hear news tomorrow. However, I am prepared for the fact that it might be Thursday or Friday before we know what happened.

Lord, please let everything go through so I can go meet my baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

One Week to Go!

2008-01-16T21:35:00.000-06:00

In exactly one week we have our court date for Baby A. Hopefully, on Wednesday, January 23, we will have a decision and not a postponement. For some reason, it is all I can think about today. Partially, because I see his face and just know he's getting older by the minute and I want to be able to hold him when he is still tiny! Partially, because I feel like I have so many things on hold for the spring (as far as the calendar goes). I am responsible for many retreats, trips and events that happen at our church and Christian school so it is hard to know what I'll actually be in town for and what I will be missing. I don't mind missing any of it, if it means I am in Ethiopia; but, I don't want to schedule myself out for February if we aren't going to be able to travel until later. None of these things are a big deal, but I would like to just be able to plan something!!! I don't even know what to do to get ready for the trip, yet. Not that it matters, because I usually do things like that closer to the last minute. I guess I just work better with a deadline : ) But, I feel like I'm in limbo and I wonder what the baby must be feeling. I'm sure he is well taken care of at the HOH; and, of course, he's too little to "think" anything. I just wish I knew who was holding him, where he was sleeping, what he was hearing...all of those things! Hopefully, it won't be too long before I see for myself!

Lost in Translation

2008-01-07T17:37:00.000-06:00

So, there was a little mistake...apparently, the director in Ethiopia emailed our offices the date on the Ethiopian calendar for the day of our court appointment (which is the 14th of their current month); however, according to my calendar, it is actually the 23rd. Therefore, we wait again!!! Praying, praying, praying that it goes through with the first court date. I really want to travel in February!

Court Date Scheduled!

2008-01-03T11:04:00.000-06:00

Just got a call from our social worker Julia and she said that we have a court date for January 14th...Yeah!!! I was expecting it to be the end of January, so that's good news. That means, if all goes well the first time through (which is praying for alot!), then we will travel about 2-3 weeks after that. So, I'm planning to travel in February, maybe even as early as the first week!

Referral --- Merry Christmas to us!

2007-12-27T12:18:00.000-06:00

Finally, we officially received our new referral. Baby A is a 3 month old boy, healthy, and paper ready! Sharon, the director of the Ethiopia program, called us herself on Christmas morning to give us the news. We were so thrilled and appreciative that she would take time out on her holiday, even while she was out of town with family, to call us and give us this wonderful Christmas gift! ... YEAH!!!!

My perfect timing must not be His!

2007-12-13T16:58:00.000-06:00

Yesterday, December 12, was our 10 year wedding anniversary. I told God that would be a great day to get the call for our new referral. I even told Him that it would be perfect timing! Laughingly, I also told Him that He probably doesn't care what my perfect is, because His ways are higher than mine. I guess He proved me right....No call yesterday...or today, for that matter! Oh, well, there's still tomorrow (before another long weekend waiting!).

By the way, though, we did have a great day celebrating. We left work early, skipped church, and had a free babysitter. It was a fun night of movies, fine dining, and Christmas shopping. Just perfect to be together (alone) for a change!

Time to Break the Silence

2007-12-06T20:57:00.000-06:00

I have taken the last 2 weeks to sort through my feelings on what I am about to share, so I'm very sorry for the silence. The day after Thanksgiving, the director of the Ethiopia program called and told us that things had not gone well in court. The court did not rule in our favor. There was an issue with the birth family (nothing to do with our papers or our agency). Unfortunately, Baby Z will not be coming home to live with us; but I do hope that he will be reunited with his family and sibling.

That has been my prayer for him since the day we learned of the details surrounding his relinquishment. I believe God placed him in our hearts for the last two months so that we could pray the will of the Lord over his life. Despite sounding like a platitude, I truly do trust that God's will has been done in this situation.

Our family has grieved somewhat over the loss. In fact, I have felt similarly to what I experienced after my miscarriage. Although I did not know this baby, he already lived in my heart and so the loss was real. His name, his pictures, the things around the house that were bought especially for him, and the hope of bringing him home for his 1st Christmas...those things were all very real to us and had to be laid at the foot of Jesus, trusting that He is enough for us and for that little one. I have to believe that His Heavenly Father loves him more than we or his birthparents ever could. That is why I trust that this story will have a good ending for Baby Z.

In the meantime, we have been offered a referral for a one month old. We are currently awaiting the remainder of the medicals so that the agency can officially present us with the referral package. I am hoping it will be tomorrow, but it will most likely be next week. We don't anticipate traveling until mid to late January at this point. But, I'm sure that will help with the cost of airfare and help our little ones here at home adjust to the new idea. It would have been hard for me to leave them over Christmas, anyway, so I am glad that I won't have to deal with that emotion on top of everything else!

Yes, we have a court date!!!

2007-11-19T19:26:00.000-06:00

Um...TOMORROW! Very unprecedented, I think. Most people have been getting notice that their court date is in 2 weeks or so. For some reason, our director did not know until today that our court date is tomorrow, November 20. So, I have been pacing the floor all evening and calling friends and family with the good news. I feel like I should be doing something right now to get ready for the trip, but have no idea what I can do this evening. Plus, we don't know if we will for sure be traveling in 3 weeks as we are working with the State of Illinois to get approval for travel (long story:) I know it will all work out and somehow God will provide all the money, time and energy it will take to be ready to go get our little boy. So, I will be praying tonight that God will cause things to go smoothly tomorrow in order for him to be officially ours. Then, I will post pictures! ....Yeah!!!!

Apparently, A Mother Doesn't Know!

2007-11-16T19:19:00.000-06:00

Yes, we are still waiting for our court date. I guess my last entry was a bit premature...I was just so sure! Oh, well. There is nothing we can do to move things along and I have plenty to keep me busy here at home right now, so I will keep praying and hoping for the phone to ring! Maybe he won't be home for Christmas this year, after all! That does make me a bit sad, because it would be the perfect time to bring him home and have him here for all these firsts. God knows what's best though, so I'll just be patient!!!

Still Waiting

2007-10-28T20:29:00.001-05:00

Of course, we haven't waited all that long, so I shouldn't be complaining; but we are still waiting on our court date. Based on the amount of nesting I've been doing around this house this last week, I'm guessing that we will get the call in the next few days! (Last time I spent a week nesting like this, we got our referral the following Wed:) So, maybe not hard, scientific data here; but, still, a mother knows... right?

OK...Scratch That!

2007-10-23T17:05:00.000-05:00

I just heard from the head of the Ethiopia program that we can't send care packages to infants, only to older children. So, I guess I will not be sending the first gift. I'll just have to hold onto it until we meet him. I think I'll let him wear it home.

1st Gift to Our Son

2007-10-22T16:04:00.001-05:00

I'm sending a package with our first little gift to our son. Since he is only 3 months old, I am not sending much. But, it is worth noting that the outfit has airplanes on it, since that's the way we are going to get him home! And, the little teddy bear blanket has sports balls on it. It matches his crib bedding (chosen by his big brother, of course!)

Packing List

2007-10-20T22:03:00.000-05:00

I mentioned this great packing list in my last post, and someone requested that I share. Here is the one that Stacie directed me to:
http://spreadsheets.google.com/pub?key=pkbFu4FD39ln7MT8LimTaag

It is really fun because it is from someone who has been there and she tells whether or not she used it, wished she had it, or wished she hadn't taken it.

I'm not usually much of a planner when it comes to things like packing. I tend to throw things in the night before an international trip. Or, for last year's vacation, I brought my husband home from an unexpected trip to the hospital and we decided to head out that afternoon. So, I literally packed the van for a week to Florida with 3 kids in about 2 hours!...Crazy! But, I figured that where there was a super-Walmart, I should not lack! However, I plan to follow this packing list as a guide for myself, because I have a feeling there will not be a super-Walmart around the corner from the House of Hope!

Awaiting the Court Date

2007-10-19T21:50:00.000-05:00

Things are in motion with our referral! Tsegay (our agencies' contact in Addis) has begun moving our case through the various ministries so that we will be awaiting our court date. Sharon (the director of CHI's Ethiopia program) believes we can plan to travel in two months. So, I am curious to know if we will be there over our 10th anniversary, which is December 12. I hope that we will be back in time for Christmas...What a great gift that would be to our family!

Now I want to put together a package to send to our baby boy. On Monday, I also need to make appointments for us to start our shots for travel. I already have a great packing list that someone posted on our Yahoo group, so I think that will make packing much simpler. Anyway, there's much to do...

Pictures!!!

2007-10-09T22:39:00.000-05:00

I just received another email from Julia with more photos of Baby Z. I can't believe how much I am stalking my email right now, waiting for another glimpse of his face! In today's photo, he was looking directly at the camera and I felt like I could really see into those sweet eyes....I am officially in love! I know there's a kindred spirit in that little soul and I can't wait to unearth all the treasures that he will bring to our lives. Yeah for email (and instant gratification) for this mama!

Eating for Two?

2007-10-07T20:59:00.001-05:00

Is it possible to gain weight with a paper pregnancy? Because I seem to be eating for two this last week! In fact, I just baked a double-batch of brownies tonight for "the kids". But, truthfully, I ate enough brownie dough to blow that cover before they even came out of the oven:) Somewhere among dreadfully excited to finally have a name and face for which to pray, terribly anxious about finances, and striving to trust God with everything, I have given in to many cravings! So, off to Curves I go tomorrow morning. I have to get in my 3 workouts this week and knock off some chocolate or I'm going to have some serious baby-fat to lose by the time Baby Z comes home!

What's In a Name?

2007-10-05T20:35:00.001-05:00

We have had the name Caleb since my 2nd pregnancy. After my 3rd pregnancy, and 2 girls later, we decided that must be the name we were going to use for baby #4. So, for the last 18-months in which we have been "paper-pregnant" we keep calling the baby "Caleb".

Until 2 months ago that is, when I started telling Paul that I thought Zeke was a cute nickname. He wasn't sure that was a good nickname for Caleb (?) but I told him I liked the sound of it with Cole, Hope, and Lela. So, we didn't think too much more of it until the social worker called with our referral. She said, "I don't know how to pronounce his name, but let me spell it for you...Z...E..." Ok, at that point I stopped listening and started yelling, "Are you kidding?" I couldn't believe his name began with "ze"...close enough to Zeke for me!

So, we still don't know if we will keep Caleb or ditch it altogether; but for now, he is "Baby Z". That seems appropriate enough!

"The Call" Has Finally Come!

2007-10-03T18:07:00.000-05:00

Today was the day! I can hardly believe it! I got the call from our social worker, Julia, this morning around 10:30 or 11:00 and she said "I have a baby boy for you!"....I couldn't believe it...I just started to cry and told her how timely it was and how perfect it was of God to choose this day (for many reasons of which I will not bore you). Finally, she asked if I wanted to know about the baby. Yes, of course, I just had to stop blabbering to pull myself together enough to listen! He is 2 1/2 months old and healthy. He is still very small, but currently in our agencies' transitional housing. I don't think I can share his name through this medium, but I hope to be able to post his name and pictures of him very soon. Let's pray for a quick court date!!! I'd love to be able to travel to get him before the end of the year so he'll be home for Christmas.

Honestly, I had a very emotional moment while we were learning of his family and how he came to be relinquished. I was surprised at how moved in grief I was for his loss. It just became profoundly real when I heard a story that was now attached to a face and a name. He's not just a statistic; he's my son. So, while I celebrate this day, I also remember to pray that God will be with him to comfort his grieving soul and bring peace to his family. I know that this divine door of destiny did not come without a price.

My Own Little Baby Shower

2007-09-29T23:22:00.000-05:00

Well, this morning, my sister and I awoke very early in spite of the fact that we are both pretty tired from our church's annual conference that is currently going on and we went to a Mother of Twins' re-sale event (it is a group that my sister belongs to). We were one of the first in the door and I went crazy. I got the whole infant carseat/stroller system and lots of other things like bouncy chairs, bath seats, burpclothes, bibs, and baby monitor! My sister is currently in the process of adopting 2 children from Guatemala, so we had her van packed full! When we put all of our things in the van and started driving away, she said, "It feels like we just had a little baby shower for ourselves!" And, as I brought the things into the family room this morning, I was very overwhelmed by emotion. I couldn't believe that it is this close to being real...I'm going to be a mom to an infant again. I'm both terribly excited and very afraid (pretty much the same feelings I had when I was 8 months pregnant!) There's no going back now and I can't wait...Somehow a bit of a paradox to me, but I'm relishing every step of the way, regardless of my ability to philosophize about it:)

Meeting the Author

2007-09-23T19:04:00.000-05:00

Well, I haven't posted in quite some time because there has been nothing new to say. We literally are in the waiting process. Once our dossier left our hands to go to Ethiopia, there has been nothing else for us to do except wait on the referral. The two families that were in line ahead of us for an infant have already traveled and come home, so it really will be coming any day now!

However, we did do something exciting this last week. On Thursday, Paul and I drove to Chicago to meet Melissa Fay Greene, author of There Is No Me Without You, the book at the top of every Ethiopian adoption reading list. She is currently on a book signing tour, as her book just came out in paperback, and she was at a Barnes and Noble in Evanston, Illinois. So, we found family to watch the kids and we headed up the road! She gave a great lecture, inserting readings from her book, and then she took some questions. It was very helpful to hear from someone who has adopted five children. She knows firsthand some of the trials and joys of this process, balanced with being informed as a journalist about the statistics of the current situation in Ethiopia. Afterward we had the opportunity to meet her personally and she was very approachable and gracious. We got home about 2:00 in the morning; but we had fun!

So, now I feel that I have officially entered the "nesting" stage of this paper pregnancy. I am painting the playroom, wallpapering my bathroom, making Paul take next weekend (after our church's fall conference) to finish the remodel on our back bathroom, and I am going to try to finish some of the miscellaneous things I've been wanting to do in the kids' bedrooms. For some reason, I am suddenly seeing every dusty fan and broken window blind and feeling the need to do some serious house cleaning, too! Next Saturday I am going with my sister to a mother of twins' resale day in hopes of finding some of the baby items I need (since I sold most of my things after Lela outgrew using them!)

So, again, here's to that referral coming soon, before I wear Paul out with his honey-do list!!!...

Dossier On its Way!

2007-06-03T09:10:00.000-05:00

Well, last Thursday and Friday (before Memorial Day) I went into overtime collecting everything I needed for the dossier. I had things to print and copy, signatures to acquire and notary stamps to get. Throughout the weekend I was able to get everything together and I went to see Julia at CHI to have her look over everything. We found 3 things I should change. So, I went back to Gina (my personal notary, apparently!) Wednesday morning before we went to Springfield. Paul and I took the kids and we headed out for a day trip to our State's capital. When we arrived at the Capitol building we took the kids for a quick tour and found a tunnel to take from one building to the rotunda floor. Then we found the Index building where we went to get our dossier state certified. Except for a few minor details, which we quickly worked out, everything passed inspection and we left with our state-certified documents! Yeah!!!

After that, we called Jenni Grigsby-Rogal, a friend we met through CHI's Ethiopia adoption yahoo group. She and her husband, Jim, work on the Senate floor. They came out and said hi, introduced us to our Senator, and showed us around a bit. Jenni gave us a Congratulations card on accomplishing this step in our adoption process. It was very sweet!

We had a great day together as a family. It was exciting and somehow profound. I still can't imagine that all of this paperchase is going to produce a child forever becoming part of our family...How providential is our God?! It's amazing!

So, Thursday was my last workday to get everything done to be gone on vacation for a week. I didn't get to FedEx before it closed, so I brought my package with me in the car when we left early Friday morning for Florida. When we reached Paducah, we wasted almost an hour looking for a FedEx drop site. It was in vain! Finally, we got back on the road. Once we got off in Chatanooga, we searched again. It was 5:30 p.m. when we finally found a site. They had already picked up for the day...uggh! However, the man working there said he would walk my envelope across the street and put it in the drop box that was picked up at 6:30. So, it was officially out of my hands!

Now it is off to CHI where it will be bundled and sent to Washington, D.C. to be authenticated at the Secretary of State and Ethiopian Embassy. After that it is off to Ethiopia! I guess we are getting to the point in our journey in which a referral picture is right around the corner - I can't wait!

Is it Real?

2007-05-01T14:53:00.000-05:00

This whole journey so far seems very surreal. I can't quite wrap my mind around traveling to Africa and holding my son in my arms. I've been on several missions trips, traveled to six other countries in my lifetime, and yet have never gone with my husband. (Much less expected to come back with a person!) How can I even begin to understand God's sovereignty on this issue?! Even though I am very excited, it just seems strange to think and dream about it. We are at the point, though, that it could happen sooner than I realize. I guess it's time to start getting excited!

The last few weeks there has been nothing new to tell. I have been extremely busy with church and school things. The only end in sight to all of that is May 11 (when school ends). The morning of the 13th I am going full swing into getting my dossier prepared and hopefully can get everything authenticated at the state level and off to my agency before we leave on vacation at the end of the month. I don't think it will be all that difficult now that I've already prepared my homestudy. I have a sense of what I have to do, anyway. So, here's to fast document collecting...

What's in a Dossier?

2007-04-16T20:49:00.000-05:00

Over the weekend I received our package from CHI with the details of preparing our dossier, which is the paperwork which will go to Ethiopia and be presented before our referral is given. Oh my goodness! It looks somewhat intimidating. On the other hand, I believe we already collected most of it for our homestudy. So, except a few things, we shouldn't have to collect many more pieces. Then we have to get it certified at the state level before the whole package is taken to be bundled and authenticated. And, then, well, then it goes on to many more hands before it is finally translated in Ehtiopia and we receive the green light. What a bureaucratic mess of red tape this whole ordeal is!!! Here's praying we'll get through this with smooth sailing.

On the List

2007-04-09T15:44:00.000-05:00

Today I received a very special piece of information in the mail...our I-171H. Our homestudy is complete and we now have clearance from CIS so we can go on the list for a referral! This could take several months. I'm not sure exactly when we begin to work on our dossier, but I'm sure it will all be happening quickly...Yeah!

License Finally Here!

2007-04-06T11:18:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, April 5, was the day! CHI officially received their license from the Ethiopian government. Everyone is so excited! I am very grateful to Sharon Turner, the director of this new program, and all the CHI staff who have worked so hard to get to this day. We are one of 30 families who are in this new ministry of CHI, so it is very thrilling to be a pioneer with the others. What a journey it will be!!!

Finally Started

2007-03-28T14:09:00.000-05:00

Well, our journey to Ethiopia officially began March 8, 2007. We had been accepted to Children's Hope International and begun our homestudy process in summer of 2006, but went on hold throughout the fall, feeling as though we had no clear direction on which country program we should join. Finally, in January, our interest was peaked as we read about the new Ethiopia program in which CHI was getting licensed. We met with our social worker, Julia, and the director of the Ehtiopia program, Sharon, in February and made our official change. Our completed homestudy was mailed off on March 8 and we are now awaiting the rest of the journey.